Managing anger can be extremely challenging. Other emotions can express themselves through anger - as it does to me. It is an emotion that is at the forefront and often affects those who we love. I'm not necessarily talking about occasional anger, but the type of anger that manifests itself from the smallest agitation. It grows until it it explodes. It can build up and build up until you can't contain it anymore.
How can we deal with this? I'm no Registered mental health professional. I do, however, deal with my own diagnoses, therapy treatments, medications, and health. I have also successfully completed a few of my courses headed towards my Psychology Degree. To learn more about me, check out my other post... when it's written.
Okay, so how do I deal with it? Well, only recently have I been able to manage it better. I tend to express most of my emotions through anger. This includes sadness, aggravation, disappointment, etc. I have suppressed emotions for so long (both positive and negative) that I'm only just allowing myself to express them. It's as if I'm reteaching myself to feel. No easy feat!
I've tried art therapy. Love it! But I get frustrated. That's a result of other deeper issues though. I've tried writing. It helps me to express myself in a relatively judgement free way. I can't see you, you can't see me. I've tried reading to ground myself, so many different forms of therapy. The bottom line is, you need to find what works for you. And it takes alot of practice. This doesn't change overnight.
Important points to remember:
- Grounding, grounding, grounding!
- Find something that "grounds" you. This means finding something that brings you back down and focuses your energy elsewhere. Some people keep a pebble in their pocket. You can touch it, feel it, think about it, FOCUS on it when you begin to escalate.
- Sit on a chair, plant both feet on the ground, uncross any body part. Feel your hands heavy on your legs. Feel your feet firm on the ground. Think about each body part and how it feels, move on to the next.
- Recognize it
- Recognize your anger. Recognize that you are angry. Sounds simple? Not always. We don't always understand that we are angry. It can become a part of us and our self-identity. But it isn't. It's a result of your environment, either real or perceived.
- Acknowledge it
- It happens. Acknowledge that you are angry. Recognizing and Acknowledging are very similar.
- Accept it
- Do I need to repeat? IT HAPPENS. Accept it. It's hard, I know. And no one wants to admit that they are "less than perfect". Being angry is normal. It happens to everyone. The sooner you accept something, the sooner you can work on it.
- Understand it (also known as recognizing Triggers)
- What causes you anger? Is it as specific as seeing an idiot? Or is it being overwhelmed by your environment? Triggers for anger are different for everyone. They may very easy to identify. More often, they are difficult. Talk to a therapist, google it, or pick up a book that can assist you in identifying triggers. When you can identify your triggers, you can begin to predict it, and learn to better manage them.
PART 2 will be how to Manage Your Triggers.
