I realize it has been a good while since I've posted here. As I go on this journey with you, there is something I feel exponentially important for me to share. Not only in light of the upcoming New Year, but also in light of my own personal realizations regarding how expectations affect a person's recovery.
As the Parent to your Inner Child, I want you to ask yourself; What are your current short term goals for your recovery? It may seem like a silly question. Alternatively, it may seem like an overwhelming one; But alas, it is imperative that we check in with ourselves, and make those goals realistic. Is a short term goal of yours to de-clutter a guest bedroom, or is it to 'work full time hours'? I've found myself recently making goals and plans that have been reflective more of what society deems to be acceptable, and not what is best for me and my own recovery. I've forgotten that the art of staying above water and learning to swim is in taking small baby-steps- accomplishing the 'small' tasks.
So, dear friends, what are your current short term goals for your own journey? Perhaps it is to make it out to a crowded mall and make it through without having a panic attack. Perhaps it is to take the steps toward starting a new career. Or, perhaps it is getting out of bed, and going for coffee with an old friend. We have to remind ourselves that these are baby steps, yes, but they are not 'small' successes. These are milestones in our journeys; These are huge accomplishments which are realistic.
Every single one of us has that voice over our shoulder saying;
"You should be able to...."
And maybe it's not even that of your own voice. Perhaps it is a family member, or a friend, or a supervisor at work. The hardest part seems to be sticking up for yourself and knowing, with absolute confidence, that they are wrong. Only you know what you are capable of doing, and there is not any benefit to matching your own expectations of yourself with that of someone who is not in your shoes. I want you all to remember that as we continue our journeys into a new year.
It is not an easy thing to ask, but I ask you now to take those expectations we've been conditioned to think acceptable, and lock them in a vault somewhere. Ask yourself, "What am I capable of doing?" instead of telling yourself "I should be able to....".
And when you find yourself being the critic of your own recovery, I'll be here to remind you that only you can make those baby steps, reach those milestones and accomplish something huge.
Happy holidays to all!
With love,
Alycia
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