Q&A: Eating Disorders

by Leslie-Marie 2:07 AM 0 comments

Q&A: Eating Disorders
Questions by Alycia Dort, answers by Leslie-Marie Britt

Q. When were you diagnosed with your eating disorder?

A. I was officially diagnosed with anorexia nervosa when I was in grade 11.

Q. How did you react when you received your diagnosis? Did you know it was an issue for you beforehand?

A. Well, firstly, yes, I did know it was an issue; it had been an issue since the 7th grade. By the time I was actually diagnosed I had long since been aware that I had anorexia, so my reaction wasn't very strong.

Q. What type of eating disorder do you have and how does it differ from the others there are? 

A. As I kind of mentioned earlier, I have anorexia nervosa. There are many other types or feeding and eating disorders; the DSM-5 recognizes: Pica, Rumination Disorder, Avoidant/Restrictive Food Intake Disorder, Anorexia Nervosa, Bulimia Nervosa, Binge-Eating Disorder, Other Specified Feeding or Eating Disorder, Unspecified Feeding or Eating Disorder. Another term you may have heard is Orthorexia Nervosa. This hasn’t yet been recognized as a clinical diagnosis in the DSM-5 but many people struggle with it. Each of these disorders are different and would take so much time to explain, but shortly I will do a post outlining all of them!

Q. What is it like to live with an eating disorder on a daily basis? What does it feel like?

A.   If you don't mind, I'll answer this question in two parts: physically and mentally. And

remember this is just my personal experience; I am sure it differs somewhat from person to person.

But physically, living with anorexia is literally exhausting and horrible. The less you eat, the worse you feel physically.

You are always tired; you are physically, mentally, and emotionally exhausted. It takes so much energy to constantly think and worry and plan your life around food. And you feel kind of light-headed and only half there as if you are on some sort of drug because your body is so deprived of nutrients. Kind of similar to how you feel just before fainting, or if you hold your breath for a long time; dizzy and surreal. 

I also get a constant, pounding headache, which I can't really compare to anything else. It is relentless and awful but eventually you become accustomed to it. It's possibly similar to a migraine but I've never had one. 

Also, you are always cold. You could -and I have been - in a ~21 degree Celsius room wearing a big coat, scarf and gloves and still be cold. Being perpetually cold is probably the most annoying feeling. 

It's a bit more difficult to describe how it feels mentally living with anorexia. 

At first you aren’t really fully aware that you have or are developing an eating disorder. You might know that something is off and that your eating patterns aren’t normal, but you don’t let yourself believe that it’s a serious problem. When it does become a serious problem you’ve already become really attached to having an eating disorder. You feel that it is part of who you are and that no one else will understand so you have to be secretive about it. You love having the eating disorder. You love how it makes you feel and how much weight you are losing. You are so proud of yourself for successfully hiding it from everyone. Even though you don’t feel great physically, you are losing weight and that feels wonderful. The empty feeling in your stomach is the best, most comforting feeling you have ever felt. You never want to lose that feeling. You vow that no one can force you to eat, to recover. Because you don’t want to. All that matters is that you don’t eat and lose weight. That is literally all that matters to you. All that you think about. All of the time.

Eventually you realise that you have stopped caring about everything else: friends, family, your goals. You have been so preoccupied with your eating issues that everything else has fallen to the side and you don’t even recognise yourself anymore. That isn’t a good feeling, but you’re not really ready to give up everything you’ve worked for to lose weight and hide your eating disorder.

You might start taking steps towards recovery, but you will feel torn between knowing that you need to recover, to live your life, and feeling like you need the security of your eating disorder and not wanting to give that up. For me that has lasted for a long time. I’ve made a lot of progress but recovery is always ups and downs. There are still days where I miss the feeling not eating gives me.

Q. What has helped you most thus far on your road to recovery?
A. Motivation and support. Those are the two biggest contributors to me being where I am now; in recovery.  My motivation stems from wanting to be healthy enough to pursue my career. And I have been lucky to have friends and family who are very supportive. Also, I have sought out additional support through individual and group counselling, and my doctor and dietitian.

Q. What are some warning signs to keep an eye out for if we are concerned we may have an eating disorder?

A. There are many different warning signs for each type of eating disorder. I will list some main ones here, but I later plan on writing about each type of eating disorder and will get into a more detailed/specific list at that time. If you are concerned that you might have eating issues please make an appointment to discuss your issues with a doctor or counselor.

Some psychological warning signs you may notice if you have an eating disorder/issue, include but not limited to:

·         Having preoccupied thoughts about eating, food, body shape and weight

·         Feeling anxious and or irritable around meal times

·         Feeling ‘out of control’ around food

·         Thinking of some foods as “good” or “safe” and others as “bad” or “unsafe”

·         Using food as a source of comfort

·         Or using food as self-punishment (e.g. refusing to eat due to depression, stress or other emotional reasons)

Some physical warning signs you may notice in yourself or someone else who is experiencing eating issues are:

·         Rapid weight loss or gain or frequent weight changes

·         Loss or disturbance of menstruation in girls and women and decreased libido in men Fainting or dizziness

·         Feeling tired and not sleeping well

·         Lethargy and low energy

·         Signs of damage due to vomiting including swelling around the cheeks or jaw, calluses on knuckles, damage to teeth and bad breath

·         Feeling cold most of the time, even in warm weather

If you think someone you know may have an eating disorder there are also many behavioural signs you can look for:

·         Dieting behaviour (e.g. fasting, counting calories/kilojoules, avoiding food groups such as fats and carbohydrates)

·         Eating in private and avoiding meals with other people

·         Evidence of binge eating (e.g. disappearance and/or hoarding of food)

·         Frequent trips to the bathroom during or shortly after meals

·         Vomiting or using laxatives , enemas, appetite suppressants or diuretics

·         Changes in clothing style (e.g. wearing baggy clothes)

·         Compulsive or excessive exercising (e.g. exercising in bad weather, continuing to exercise when sick or injured, and experiencing distress if exercise is not possible)

·         Changes in food preferences (e.g. claiming to dislike foods previously enjoyed, sudden preoccupation with ‘healthy eating’, or replacing meals with fluids)

·         Obsessive rituals around food preparation and eating (e.g. eating very slowly, cutting food into very small pieces, insisting that meals are served at exactly the same time every day)

·         Extreme sensitivity to comments about body shape, weight, eating and exercise habits

·         Secretive behaviour around food (e.g. saying they have eaten when they haven’t, hiding uneaten food in their rooms).

If you think that you have an eating disorder, you should seek professional help to assess the severity of the issues. If you think that someone you know may have an eating disorder urge them to seek professional help from a doctor or counselor. They may not be ready to admit that they have a problem or need help, but expressing your concern may open the door for that. If the person you are concerned about is under the age of 18, you should speak to their parent(s) or guardian(s) about your concerns.

If you are still unsure of what to do, there are some eating disorder helplines available for support:

NEDA, toll-free, confidential Helpline, Monday-Thursday from 9:00 am - 9:00 pm and Friday from 9:00 am - 5:00 pm (EST): 1-800-931-2237

NEDIC, helpline open until 9pm EST. Toll free: 1-866-633-4220 and Toronto: 416-340-4156

Q.What advice do you have for those of us who are struggling and having a hard time with our eating disorder?

A. Reach out. Talk to a close friend or family member. If you haven’t started seeing a counsellor, think about doing so. Find out what resources are available in your area. Here we have a group session run in the fall and winter and I found that extremely helpful. There are also online forums for people with eating issues if you’re not ready to talk in person or don’t have groups in your area.

If anyone is looking for more specific advice, or someone to talk to, feel free to contact me as well!

Q. How does one recover from an eating disorder?

A. Recovery looks a little different for everyone. In my experience it comes to a point where you realise the eating disorder is a problem and you take responsibility for initiating recovery. In some severe cases others have to step in and force treatment to keep you alive, but you will only truly begin recovering when you are ready to make the decision on your own. Once you realise the eating disorder is a problem, and not something you want you can work through your eating and non-eating issues and develop a positive self-image by overcoming underlying vulnerabilities that helped develop the eating disorder initially. The recovery process is long and difficult, but you are worth it and you can get through it.

Q. In your words, what is most important for us to understand while we recover?

A. It is most important to understand, and you will hear this everywhere, that recovery isn’t a linear process, there are ups and downs and it takes time. There will be days or a week here and there, where you’re having a really hard time and feel like you haven’t made any progress. To get really gritty about it, there will be times where you don’t want to recover. Where you want to have your eating disorder back and lose every single pound you’ve gained and more. There will be days where you don’t eat at all and lie about it. Every dirty trick you used when you were really sick. And you will love it and want to keep doing it and forget recovery all together.

But there will also be days where you make a huge leap in your recovery and surprise even yourself! It’s okay to have a bad day or week here and there because recovering from an eating disorder isn’t easy. But I promise you that it’s worth it!