Living with an addiction is something difficult to truly understand until you've lived through it yourself. I've written a post about Substance Abuse & Addiction which you can take a look at, however today I am writing about what it is like to live as a Recovering Alcoholic, at a young age.
I didn't have my first drink until a couple of months before my 19th birthday, unless you count the few sips of wine or beer I'd had at Christmas gatherings (which I thought was disgusting at the time). When I did have my first drink, it was a 'swig' of Peach Schnapps. Yuck, I thought. How on earth did anyone drink this stuff?
As most people do, however, I acquired the taste for various imported wines and beers, and it became a part of my social life to consume them. If I wanted to spend time with friends, I would have a drink. If I had a first date, I would take a shot before going. I would have a glass of wine with dinner...
And now, today, at the age of 23, I live as a recovering alcoholic. I can't say that living as a recovering alcoholic is particularly easy at any age, but it appears that living with alcoholism at a young age is deemed socially "unacceptable". You feel out of the loop, and you feel like everyone is judging you. So how can you help a recovering alcoholic?
#1. Know that an alcoholic comes at any age, just like it comes with any race, gender, sexual preference, or religion.
For a long while, I hid my alcoholism from others, scared that I would be judged. Only recently have I became forthcoming about my alcoholism, choosing transparency over secrecy. Most of the people I've confided in have been understanding, and non-judgmental, though a few have deemed me "unfit" to be friends with them because I do not match their "lifestyle". In your mid-twenties, when everyone is drinking to socialize, how do you become a part of that? Sure, eventually I may be able to be around alcohol, but as it stands, 7 months of sobriety is not nearly enough to allow me to be around alcohol without having my anxiety and withdrawals swing out of control.
#2. Try not to alienate us.
It feels as though everyone is living life without us, planning parties and not inviting us, or showing up early to dinner plans to get their drinking out of the way. We feel like there is a whole other world going on around us, that we are not allowed to be a part of. And it feels very, very lonely.
#3. Try to be more empathetic.
The people around us don't understand why talking about alcohol makes us uncomfortable, makes us break into sweats or causes us to go into withdrawal with high anxiety. Singing songs about alcohol, talking about "getting trashed" or talking about how delicious your wine is only makes it more difficult for us to stay sober.
#4. Learn what is helpful, and what is detrimental to our recovery.
Pressuring us into being around alcohol is not good for anyone. "I won't let you drink" and "You'll have to be around alcohol sooner or later" are not helpful, and in fact, they make us more uncomfortable. It is already very difficult for us to stay sober in the first place, let alone saying no to you the first time. Please don't try and pressure us.
#5. Just because I'm an alcoholic, does not mean I'm a drunk.
Alcoholism is when a physiological addiction has happened in your body, in which it believes the substance is a vital part of its survival. Yes, I have an addiction to alcohol, and yes, I abuse it. But that does not mean that I am a drunk, a criminal or a bad person.
I by no means expect people to walk on eggshells around me, but for all of the recovering alcoholics out there, it's important for me to convey the troubles and struggles we go through on a daily basis because of misunderstandings. Living in recovery is difficult, and you have the power to make it just a little bit easier.
Xo
Alycia
